ONE BIG F5 - Survival Techniques for the Blue Nation Abroad

Wrapped up in another culture, and far away from home, my blue blood was re-awakened when a compatriot hurriedly left after last Sunday's mass saying she was going to catch the Ateneo game. The Ateneo Game - like it didn't matter who the opponent was, and indeed. Win or lose it's Ateneo we choose. I felt guilty that being in a foreign land I had completely forgotten the UAAP timetable, and before I could ask her how she was going to watch The Ateneo Game, she was gone -- like a wisp of smoke trailing towards a blue magnet.

For the Blue Nation abroad it is essential that we stay on Blue Alert combat readiness, that is:

1) when called upon by the on-court sixth man to raise the cheering decibels, to shout a proud ONE BIG FIGHT that must be heard from across the seas; and,

2) when the non-blue nation (the rest of the world essentially) asks us to explain Black's blue basketball brand, that we can spell backwards the names of all current 16 blue eagles and 8 coaching staff members, that we can narrate the heroic run of the 2002 Blue Eagles that ended the 14-year championship drought (and be able to whip out the 2002 Season of Grace DVD classic for viewing), that we can, on demand, shed blue tears of joy and thankfulness for the 2008 championship.

Knowing that The Ateneo Game would end at around 6pm Philippine time, at 6:01pm I was already hitting the F5 (refresh) button on my web browser, trying to be the first to get fresh news bulletins from local news websites. The next thing I knew I was waking up to my 5:30am alarm. I must have been hypnotized into sleep by a thousand F5 button presses. "Who won?" was my first thought. Almost instantly my blue conscience chided me for not believing, saying my question should have been "by how many points did we win?"

So I hit the F5 button again, and yes, Ateneo won. My blue guilt is now complete. First, I forget about the whole UAAP season. Second, I didn't watch The Ateneo Game live (and I must tell you that I've watched the last three Ateneo UAAP championship finals matches LIVE: the 1988, 2002 and 2008 games; see my prized 2008 ticket below). Third, I doubted Ateneo would win. I will surely get a blue demotion, and be assigned to be on green alert instead. ooops.

The rest of this morning I spent waiting for the ever-reliable sports stories by Myopic Eagle and Rick Olivares at the Ateneo dedicated Season 72 UAAP site. I know these guys have a deadline for submitting their stories so I started hitting the F5 button again at around 12noon. True enough, their posts came at 13:40 and 13:42 respectively.

My blue guilt may have been the culprit but while reading their stories, I savored every single word they wrote, especially insightful phrases such as "while supply lasts", "as Ateneans we’re trained to lead wherever the Lord places us", and "sainted Chris Tiu." I must say that these two guys know how to narrate a game and keep a reader's imagination and visualisation on full throttle. It's almost as good as being there live in the game itself. At this point I tried in vain to search for any online videos of The Ateneo Game. Youtube had the FEU dance presentation at the half-time break, but not the game itself.

We Blue Nation abroad must develop a set of survival techniques to ensure that we stay in tune with the Blue Nation back at home, that is, that we get to experience the Ateneo Games in all their blue emotions, blue pride, blue thrill and, most important of all, blue prayers for Mary, for Her white and blue.

Let's all chip in and share what we do to get the freshest news, the truest tidbits and nicest stories (like when Rick Olivares narrated Chris Tiu's one liner: "Sino ba ang nag-champion?").

Here's what I plan to do for this Thursday's game:

1. Warm up by reviewing the fantastic pictures of the Ateneo games at http://www.fabilioh.com.

2. Review the stories of past games at http://www.ateneo.edu/index.php?p=2755.

3. During the game on Thursday I'll ask my son to make their webcam face the television so that I can watch the game from my Google video chat. Does anyone know where live streaming is available for the games?

4. Are there any official blue tweets coming from anyone on the court during the actual game?

I'd love it if someone can help me set up http://onebigf5.blogspot.com/ so that we can compile everyone's strategies and survival techniques there, and maybe we make it the authoritative one-stop site from where we Blue abroad can shout a thundering - ONE BIG F5 FIGHT!

Social Beings

Indeed, no man is an island. We are social beings, and at the very core of our humanity is an intense need to belong, to be recognized, to be acknowledged.

Prisoners of war are truly conquered not by decades of incarceration but by just months of solitary confinement. As the ultimate punishment for bad behavior, inmates are dumped into "the hole," a small space not larger than a comfort room, and are kept separated from other prisoners for extended periods of time. Yet even as correctional facilities use isolation supposedly to discipline, and captors use seclusion supposedly for security, in the end, it is ultimately the human spirit that is broken, and with that hopelessness sets in.

Moving alone to another country is like self-imposed solitary confinement. All that is familiar is abruptly taken away like a rug pulled from under you, and whether you land back on your feet or flat on your face will depend on how one is able keep connected to ones social safety net back home or, more importantly, how one is able to establish new social networks.

It was the same for me when I arrived here.

The first week was the hardest. No more eating as a family with my wife and kids. No more delicious home-cooked/wife-cooked meals. Back home, bedtime for me meant first playing robot and karate and transformers with my 3- and 5-year old boys, then having a chit-chat about high school with my 15-year old, who had his own room. Our small ones slept with us, and I miss waking up at the dead of the night to their crying, or to watching my wonderful wife pick them up while asleep, placing them on her shoulders, pulling down their shorts, and making them pee so they wouldn't wet their bed. Here, I have no one to hug at night and no one to wake up with. Back in the Philippines, coming home from work meant that my two small kids would rush out of the front door and run toward my car, and my eldest son would go down from his room, interrupting his studies, to bless my hand, a local Filipino tradition of respect for your parents. Here I come home to an empty room.

In such desolation, one's survival instincts kick in. I searched for the familiar, and reached out to grab it.

First, I joined the church choir and met some wonderful people. Practicing and singing and laughing with them makes me feel like I am with my kids - but 10 or 15 years into the future - as the choir members are mostly in their late teens or early twenties. The Filipino community here is also one dynamic group. Every Friday, those who can hop into one Filipino professor's car as he heads to a local shopping mall for the movies.

Second, I also joined a student writers group, called SPA (Student Press Assistants), which writes articles and stories for the official APU website. Last week, the SPA group had a weekend camp in order to get to know each other better, experience working with each other, and generally to bond better as a team, and, more importantly, as friends. As in any relationship, what one gets will depend on what one puts into it, what one invests in it. If you open up and share a personal side to yourself, you'll find others also willing to do the same. In the process, friends get to trust each other better, as each of you are now bound by an invisible sense of belongingness, of camaraderie.

Indeed, in others, in a community, one finds strength and identity. Not that one, like a Chameleon, blends into the environment perfectly, often replacing its own true colors. Instead in a community red becomes "redder," black becomes "blacker" when amidst whites, when amidst other fellow human beings who, just by being their own respective selves, enhance the best in you.

Street Tourism

instead of buying the yearly bus ticket from my apartment in mochigahama to apu, which costs 87,000yen, i bought the bus pass from kamegawa station to apu, which is only 59,000yen, saving myself 28,000yen.

and so i bike from my apartment to kamegawa station everyday, twice a day, each way taking anywhere from 18-36 minutes depending on the time of the day (at night i can't go too fast as i can't see the road very well).

i used to pass on the main highway where the sidewalks are wide and well-paved, but then it very quickly became boring and monotonous. so i explored passing the back streets, going through a complex maze of small alleys lined with a mixture of high-rise apartment buildings and individual homes, both old/traditional style, and modern ones with nice tiled roofs.

here below is the route i pass:

map source: found at beppu city website c/o google maps and zenrin.

the view of everyday life that i see as i pass by on my bike simply amazes me, and i am taking-in every bit of the sensory experience. i smell food being cooked as celestial aroma slices through the crisp, cold air. i pass 2 big parks where families play baseball or soccer, bring their babies in strollers or walk with their 2-year old, red-cheeked toddlers. how cute japanese kids are! i see grandmothers walk their well-groomed dogs. i see laundry drying out by the back of houses, garages full of stuff and little bits of odds and ends. my route forms what i call "street tourism" as i am able to see the innermost parts of the city.

each block i pass has a small "satellite market area" with an interesting mix of local shops, attended to by mostly senior-aged people. i've started to talk to these wisdom-filled shopkeepers through sign language and word-by-word japanese, and am trying to get their stories of the local block so i can build a sort of "local perspective" of the community from the particular vantage point of the residents.

i also noticed that the streets have no names (except the big streets)! how does the local postman finds houses? from the moment man learned agriculture and animal husbandry the concept of an address came into being and so began human settlements. but why is it that in the western addressing system, streets have names, and japan doesn't?

an address of a friend reads like this: 403 saitama building, 4-13-42, ishigaki-nishi, 874-0910, mochigahama, beppu, oita. consulting my apartment-mate (a beppu resident for the past 8 years) on how to find an address, i now understand that 42 is the house number (gō 号), 13 is the city block (banchi 番地), 4 is the city district (chōme 丁目). but seeing the addresses attached on the front of homes and buildings i pass by on my way to kamegawa, only 2 sets of numbers are written, as seen below:

these two numbers are the house number (#24) and the city block (#2). i also see another sign posted on every block corner listing what i presume to be another naming convention.

wikipedia explains the japanese addressing system in more detail, showing that cities (shi, 市) may be composed of smaller sub-divisions called machi or chō (町), thus explaining why mochigahama is listed in the map as mochigahama-cho. higher than a city is the prefecture (ken, 県), the largest geographical unit in japan.

going back to the address of my friend, spelling it out explicitly would make it like this: 403 saitama building, 4CHOME-13BANCHI-42GO, ishigaki-nishi, 874-0910, mochigahama-CHO, beppu-SHI, oita-KEN. the #403 doesn't represent the number of the building, as that would be #42. the #403 represents the number of the apartment within that building.

[this is a continuing story. coming up are names and contact info of the business establishments i pass by, and the products they are selling and indicative prices. will also get a schedule of community activities in each area. am also developing stories of some households along my route that i have become acquainted with through the power of just a sincere smile.]

Global Business Leaders: Business Case Challenge Spring 2009

From 12th to 14th June 2009, “Global Business Leaders: Business Case Challenge Spring 2009” (GBL-BCC 2009) was held for all APU undergraduate students. The 20-hours-long case presentation preparation and the First Round were conducted in APU Campus, while the Final Jury and formal dinner reception was held in Fujikan Hotel, which was fully sponsored by TATESHI Masaaki (the owner of Lapin Co. Ltd) who also covered the bentos for organizers and dance performers.

Business Case Challenge was first introduced to APU 6 years ago by College of International Management Associate Professor Drummond. Damon L. Although this year it was not organized by his seminar students, Dr. Drummond provided relentless support, making sure that every activity within the competition period could run smoothly. He also helped in the workshop prior to BCC, helping the participants to understand the important aspects of a professional business-like presentation.

GBL-BCC 2009 was organized by Global Business Leaders (GBL), an APU circle which was founded in Fall Semester 2008 for students who wish to further their leadership skills. The primary aim of GBL is to promote student leadership and give students a place in which they can learn and practice leadership skills. Rather than a classroom environment, in which there is a strict student-teacher hierarchy, GBL is a more relaxed setting which allows any student who chooses to lead activities or discussion on a topic they are interested in. Many of these discussions involve management case studies, or issues related to the corporate world. The skills GBL wishes to nurture are particularly useful for APM students, or any student who is interested in seeking a management position within an organization in the future.

The leader of GBL, Michael Wu (APM3, Australia) gave his comment, “As the organizer of this year's BCC, I was extremely pleased with the outcome. We were lucky that we didn't encounter and major problems allowing us to run a smooth event. There're a few people I would like to thank. I want to thank the Judges who gave up their weekend to this event, in particularly Dr. Damon Drummond who worked extremely hard in the back ground to make sure we manage to get everything right. I want to thank our sponsor, Lapin, for providing the opportunity for the APU students compete and dine in such a wonderful venue. Also would like to thank the people from Student office and Academic office on their support over the last few months during the preparation of the BCC. And finally, I must give a big thank you for my staff members who worked beyond their call of duty. Without them, this activity would not have occurred”.

The focus for Business Case Challenge Spring 2009 was: Environment & Business, Business Ethics, and Leadership. The competing twenty-four teams were divided into four different divisions through lucky draw: A, B, C, and D, with each division consisting of six groups. During the 20-hours-long preparation, all of the groups had to do a thorough analysis of the case of Walmart in Japan, as if the groups were the management consultants hired by Walmart. They were to analyze the management problems which have been preventing the top U.S. retailing company from being successful in Japanese market, and to offer solutions for the future, through 20-minute presentations in front of the judges who were acting as Walmart’s Board of Directors. The best team was selected from each division, and the top four groups were to do their presentations in the Final Jury in front of the entire groups and judges.

The panel of judges consisted of College of International Management Professor LEU Gwo-Jun Mike, College of International Management Professor ZHANG Wei-Bin,
College of International Management Assistant Professor JEHAN, Shahzadah N. , College of International Management Assistant Professor ADHIKARY Bishnu Kumar, College of Asia Pacific Studies Professor KATO Masanori, College of Asia Pacific Studies Assistant Professor NISHANTHA Giguruwa G.D. Professor ZHANG Wei Bin attended the GBL-BCC 2009 on behalf of College of International Management Dean Professor YOKOYAMA Kenji.

The Winning Team (Team 22):
Yao Yuan (APM3, China)
Zorigt Delgormaa (APM3, Mongolia)
Saniviporn Thumayos (APM4, Thailand)
Lan Phan (APM3, Vietnam)

The 1st Runner Up (Team 24):
Kallita Soontarat (APM3, Thailand)
Pakchuda Soontarat (APM3, Thailand)
Phensiri Sathianvongnusar (APM3, Thailand)
Angelia Elektrina (APM3, Indonesia)

They will represent APU at Thamasat University in Thailand.
The winning team will be representing APU at the Citi International Case Challenge (CICC) held by Hong Kong University of Science and Technology. Meanwhile, the runner's up team will be representing APU at Thamasat University in Thailand.

Moreover, two best speakers of this year’s competition were also selected: Saniviporn Thumayos, who is in the 1st Winning Team, was chosen as the 1st Best Speaker, and the 2nd Best Speaker: Kallita Soontarat (APM3, Thailand).

When interviewed about how they felt to be the winning team, members of Team 22 said that they felt truly honoured to be granted the opportunity to represent APU in Hong Kong later on this year. They would like to express gratitude to the judges for the constructive feedbacks, to their fellow colleagues for the encouragements, and especially to GBL and Professor Drummond. To them, GBL's BCC 2009 is surely a chapter of their APU life that will never be forgotten, and a triumph that they can look back fondly in the future. Last but not least, they would like to thank all the professors who have imparted knowledge and taught them the way of life.

GBL hopes to continue Business Case Challenge, and for it to be bigger and better in the future. The tradition of having internal competition will be maintained. They are also thinking to plan for a bi-lingual competition as well as a GBL-International BCC here at APU.

NUGROHO Katarina Marsha Utama
(APM3, Indonesia)

Am I Too Old To Learn, Or Too Old To Give Back To Society, or Both?

I turned 40 last year, making me ineligible for scholarships, most of which set an age limit of around 35. This didn't stop me though from pursuing my studies in Japan. I persevered, prevailing on my wife to put up our only tangible asset representing our life savings – a piece of land in the rural Philippines – as collateral for a loan. I am now doing my PhD in Japan. I chose this school because of the unique and valuable perspectives to be gained from a truly multi-cultural environment and because my chosen mentor teaches here. Since my borrowed money is not enough, and the US financial crisis is weighing down heavily on my brother who is my financial sponsor, possibly jeopardizing his future support money, I have fully utilized my 28-hours/week of allowed part-time jobs in order to make ends meet.

Might there be a good reason why I have gone over the age limit of 35/34?

The option of going straight to graduate school paled in comparison to the duty to serve the rural poor of my country, as my Jesuit “man-for-others” education instilled in me. I have absolutely no regrets giving back 6 years of my prime years after college working directly among rural poor upland farmers and lowland fisher folk to help improve their future – since this was in return for the 16 years of formal education that the Philippine society had invested in me.

While I set up a computer systems and hardware business on the side in order to augment my meager salary as a non-government organization (NGO) worker, my wife and I decided nevertheless not to begin this enterprise in Manila so that the employment to be generated by my company would help the rural Philippine economy. On its tenth year, I sold off that business and brought my family back to Manila. I had two reasons, one biological and, the other, to fulfill what I felt was my true calling.

The relentless pace of a struggling entrepreneur rendered me infertile, and we wanted to follow our only son, born before the business, with more angels. I call it a biological reason because my wife wasn’t getting any younger. True enough, just six months after returning to Manila, our second son was conceived, and only a year after him, a third son also came through. The 11-year gap between our first and second sons never fails to remind me of our adventure in rural Philippine development work.

The second reason was that I felt getting pulled more and more back into my real formal training which was in Sociology and to my love of writing. I now wanted to build upon my work experience of micro, rural development and expand this into an Asia-wide perspective. And this is when I felt compelled to get further training through my PhD, if I wanted to do justice to my new adventure.

If it is the length of service to society after the scholarship that benefactors are worried about – and rightfully so, I might add – then it may help to consider that some of us may have, in fact, already began rendering this service to society ahead of our graduate studies, which is the main reason why we have gone over the age limit.

If it is the level of financial resources that one is assumed to have secured by that age limit – thus enabling one to pay for his own tuition and expenses – then it may help to consider that the great rural-urban divide, further heightened in developing countries such as mine, causes a great disparity in income levels. Thus, those of us who have chosen to stay in the countryside for a big portion of the years before the 35/34 age limit may in fact be the most in need of your generous scholarship.

If it is a concern on possibly being too old to learn new ideas (the difficulty of “teaching an old dog new tricks”), then might it help to consider that if some have began their societal service early on and, by choice, persevered through the years in rural work, then there might be, in fact, a high level of versatility and flexibility in those types of persons – and a wealth of work and professional experience – that will guarantee that they complete their graduate studies successfully?

On the day of my departure from the Philippines, as I bid goodbye to my wife and 3 sons – knowing that financial constraints may prevent me from coming home for 3 years straight – I told my wife: “This is make-or-make for us, not make-or-break. I will come home with my PhD, and nothing will stop me.”

So, with fire in my heart I ask myself: “Am I too old to learn, or too old to give back to society, or both?”

on-campus dormitory or apartment downtown?

since i arrived in japan last march 29, i have been staying at ap house, which is the university dormitory. by the end of this month, that is, may 31, i'll be moving out of ap house to live downtown at the mochigahama area, sharing an apartment with 2 other apu students.

where to live was one of the most thoroughly thought of decisions i've made so far here in my life at apu. consulting friends about the factors that should be considered, i've realized that there are essentially 3 core variables involved in the decision, as listed below:

1. value of the beppu local community life
2. level of self-discipline
3. level of creativity

the valuation of costs, that is, the apartment rent, bus fare, etc, really vary as a function of the 3 variables above. indeed, one's management of cost is also relative to one's life experiences and, simply put, one's self-imposed level of asceticism.

allow me to expound further.

the rent at ap house is 40,000yen a month, inclusive of all utilities (electricity, gas , water, internet access). all the necessary appliances and furnitures/fixtures are all provided. you have a bed, a study table, a chair, a lamp, toilet and bath (m building only), and a refrigerator in your room, and a fully-equiped kitchen per floor (stove, toaster, microwave) and laundry facilities (washing machine, dryer, etc). in short, for 40kyen per month, ap house provides you everything you need. since ap house is on the apu campus, i have no transportation/bus cost, the classrooms taking just 15-minutes to get to. ap house charged a one-time, non-refundable "moving-in" fee of 42,000yen, and a 60,000yen refundable deposit.

the rent at the apartment where i'll be staying is 50,400yen a month. it has 3 rooms, a kitchen area, dining area, toilet and bath and a laundry area. so the three of us apartment-mates will be paying 16,800yen each, exclusive of all utilities. electricity, gas, water and internet access bills is estimated at 5,000yen each per month. a yearly bus pass from mochigahama to apu cost 87,000yen so that makes it 7,250yen per month for transport cost, each way taking about 40 minutes. the landlord charged us a one-time, 25,000yen key-money, non-refundable fee.

so now, in terms of recurring cost, what we're comparing here is 40,000yen (ap house) versus 29,050yen (apartment downtown). clearly, the straightforward answer is that living downtown is cheaper by roughly 11,000yen per month.

not so fast.

we're forgetting the one-time set-up costs of living in an apartment, which does not come with any furniture and fixtures, appliances, and other one-costs for miscellanous items. if one moves into an empty apartment, one must be ready to spend about 100,000-150,000yen for brand new furnitures/fixtures and appliances or about half of that amount if you decide to get second-hand items.

i've also been able to solicit the following opinions about living downtown:
1. commuting time is roughly 1.5 hours both ways, so the savings of only 11,000yen per month is not worth it.
2. since you'll be nearer the restaurants and department stores and grocery stores and bars, you'll end up doubling your food budget and tripling your entertainment budget, so it'll end up wiping out the projected 11,000yen monthly savings.
3. your apartment-mate(s)'s remaining time at beppu is not synchronized with yours so you may be left with an apartment that you'll have to pay all by yourself.

now this is where one's creativity, discipline and assessment of the value of the beppu local community life come into the picture.

1. on the one-time set-up costs for appliances and furnitures/fixtures: moving into a new apartment was immediately out of my options so i exerted all effort to find any person who had a vacant room in an existing apartment. and as destiny would have it, i even found a fellow filipino apu student, and he happened to have 2 available rooms in his existing apartment. so all the necessary appliances were already in place, and his previous apartment-mates even left their beds, study table, blankets, mattresses, radios, televisions, bookshelves, flat irons, clothes, carpets, and lots of other miscellaneous stuff. the end result was that i didn't have to buy anything. here are some pictures of my new place and the necessary appliances already existing and all the other items i "inherited:"

2. commuting time of 1.5 hours. true, that's a given. so what i do is i spend the time on the bus doing any of the following:
- listening to my japanese vocabulary lessons on my treo
- mentally going through the material for the short story series i am writing, and further developing the twists and turns of the plot
- reading my japanese story book for kids to practice my hiragana and katakana (last priority as reading on a moving vehicle is bad for the eyes).

on top of the 1.5 hours, i will invest another 44 minutes everyday (two-way trip) to bike from my apartment to kamegawa station. instead of getting the apu-to-mochigahama (5-minute walk from my apartment) yearly bus pass which costs 87,000yen, i only got the apu-to-kamegawa bus pass which costs only 59,400yen, thus saving 27,600yen. i've then mobilized my social network and gotten myself a used bicycle, and it takes 22 minutes (about 10 kilometers) one-way to get to my apartment to kamegawa.

so to offset this 44 minutes of biking everyday, i removed my daily jogging routine since the daily biking will more than suffice for my daily exercise requirement.

3. on being tempted to spend more: i will have to continue my disciplined regimen of saying "no" to all expenses "till proven beyond reasonable doubt" that the expense item is vital to life.

also, looking at the glass half full, being closer to the supermarkets allows me to buy fresh vegetables everyday, and thus be able to stick to my vegetarian diet more effectively. in ap house, the vegetable dealer only comes every friday, forcing me to cook all the leafy vegetables within 2 days or less before they wilt and become inedible.

4. on my apartment-mate possibly leaving ahead of me, i view that as a given beyond my control. any apartment-mate has an equal chance of leaving at any time even if our study periods were synchronized. one could get married and need an separate apartment; or one could die. it's all a matter of destiny. and matters beyond my control do not in any way influence the decisions that are within my control.

the silver lining in being downtown is this: i get to experience the beppu local community life!
- i can go swimming in the municipal heated pool (400yen per swim) though my "no" policy strikes this down as a non-essential cost. i can swim in my imagination instead.
- i can attend the free japanese classes at beppu city hall (every tuesday, 14:30) and at the foreign tourism office (every wednesday, 13:30) to further supplement my japanese classes at apu.
- i can use the beppu public library, and borrow 5 books and 3 magazines at a time for a 2-week period.
- i can attend the sunday masses with consistency and regularity. now at ap house, attending the mass entailed 666yen bus fees (two way), so i am not able to go, knowing that god would understand.
- i can attend the daily japanese masses at 07:00.
- i can bike around the city as a way of relaxing and refreshing my eyes as they tire out from too much reading.
- i can read at the many parks all throughout beppu.
- i can watch and participate in the various beppu community festivals/activities
- i am able to do various apostolate work with the catholic church (like joining the church choir) and with the missionaries of charity (helping to cook and serve during their feeding of the aged and homeless).

- and, most importantly, as i build up my japanese language skills, more part-time jobs will be available to me downtown.

.

the competitive advantage and true value of living at ap house is that it provides first-timers in Beppu with a comfortable and safe place to stay so you don't have to worry about housing while you are settling in and getting integrated into your academic life at APU. It would be virtually impossible to find a place downtown while you are not actually physically here already at APU, and APU solves that problem by providing a fully-furnished dormitory, at a reasonable price. ap house is a low barrier-to-entry (you don't have to spend any expensive one-time costs on appliances and other big expenditures) and thus easy-to-exit value-added service of apu to its students.

nevertheless, on an overall basis, i'd say that even if the costs of living downtown compared to ap house are break-even, just the simple fact of being connected 24x7 to the local pulse of beppu life (for those who see value in this) makes living downtown a great adventure.

Who is Tough Enough To Be The Next Leader?

“Who is tough enough to be the next leader?” The 6-foot tall, hazing-lover, outgoing Corps Commander asked us in Tagalog. I looked around at my fellow, incoming senior cadet officers, and everyone was cowering in fear.

“I am,” I said as I stood up, a 15-yr old, skin-and-bones, sickly, suicidal maniac.

And so began my leadership journey.

This was our 3rd year in the cadet corps, and the current crop of high school senior leaders were graduating. We started out as young, 13-year-old innocent babies forced to wear 5-by-6 military crew haircuts (a 5x6 haircut leaves about a palm-sized patch of hair on the top of one's head). But no one was forced into signing up, all of us chasing some childhood dream of the glory of a regimented life. Our being on the campus training field at 4am every saturday, our marching under the scorching sun and smelling like burnt bread on the brink of spoiling at the end of the day, was entirely of our own doing.

We were all cowering in fear because we had witnessed 2 previous "turn-over ceremonies" before this one which was our batch's turn. In the guise of testing one's true motivation and determination at staying on and assuming the leadership of the corps as a senior cadet, the graduating officers would subject the incoming aspirants to a plethora of psychological torture drills, intellectual tests and, the most dreaded of all, the physical attack, the murderous hazing, tearing down every shred of dignity of the aspirant. The twisted logic of it all was that if at the end of this ordeal one would still profess his loyalty and desire to persevere and lead the Corps, then that person must really be deserving of leadership.

Based on my own personal experience of this madness, testing one's leadership and determination is its last result. The first effect is that one forms an intense obsession to "return the favor" to "pass on the tradition" or, simply put, to get one's revenge, and do the same madness all over again to the batch after you.

I eventually became the Corps Commander of our batch but I remember very vividly that while I was being beaten to a pulp and violently thrashed with a thick, wooden paddle till my thighs, arms and stomach were throbbing red, my only thought was that when I am formally given the authority and power as Corps Commander of the 2,000 strong cadet corps of our high school that I would be the one to put a stop to that insane practice, that senseless, shameful tradition of hazing.

and so i did, and our graduating cadet batch of year 1985 broke the viscious circle of evil being passed down year after year. my only regret is that i never bothered to go back and see if the cadet batch after us resumed the hazing even if we didn't haze them. nevertheless i am comforted by our small victory over our human weakness, our propensity to get even.

Leadership for me is primarily a responsibility. If no one wants it, I must – even if I am the first and most scared.

Leadership is about making oneself irrelevant. Get the job done, and quickly hand over the reigns of power to the one you trained. Hanging on too long stunts the growth of the next-in-line leader and prevents you from moving on to your next, greater challenge, thus killing even your own growth.

Leadership today demands clarity of the agreed vision and the courage to see it through. Like waves that have been hitting the beachfronts since time immemorial, a leader must be relentlessly focused, summoning all willpower to stay on his path.

Leadership is sacrifice most of all. If a leader has the opportunity to make a difference, inevitably even his personal circumstances will be called upon to take a backseat in order to give way to the greater common good at stake.

Life Begins at 40 - What's Next For Me?

Life. Working human faculties. Health. An education. Freedom.

I am blessed with all of these. Daily newspapers easily remind me that persecution and injustice in all their forms are rife around us. "There is no heavier burden than a great potential," said the keynote speaker at our college graduation. Indeed, two decades later, staring at me, like the Sword of Damocles, is the question: have I used all my circumstances to fulfill my full potential?

Lapu Lapu. Jose Rizal. Ninoy Aquino.

With such a rich and proud heritage as a Filipino, I am honored and challenged at what contribution I can make to the wider region that is Asia. With all the dormant potential in me, and with only one-third of my life left, and as a father of 3 angels, I find that my single focus must be to quietly work to make their future home on this earth a better place to live in.

It is this urgent, personal call to action that i find is compelling me to re-invent myself, to re-focus, to re-tool. Touching base with like minds and reaching out to understand the pregnant diversity that is Asia, is what's next in my journey to relevance.

It is not anymore just a choice. It is an imperative on me as a human being.

eljoma - a proud bicolano filipino!

Mayon Volcano

i love my country.

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we may have the second highest asean unemployment rate (at 8.1%) but we are still happier than 100 countries around the world (ranked 78th)!

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visit my country and you'll get to see 4 of the top 77 new wonders of nature nominated sites. and by the way, these 4 sites only happen to be ranked #1 (longest underground river, 8.2kms), #4 (1,000+ perfectly cone-shaped hills), #5 (the most beautiful reefs in the world) and #11 (only perfectly cone-shaped active volcano). and after the philippines, you must hop next onto any other asian country because asia has 46 of these 77 wonders of nature sites. go asia!

the philippines, ah the philippines!

one day in february of 1986, it was just before midnight, my brother and his wife gently woke me up and asked if i could watch their 2-month old baby. i was in college and was staying at their place because it was right at the back of the university. today, when people ask if i had helped in ousting the 20-year old dictatorial regime of marcos, i proudly say yes! and then am very quick to add that i was baby-sitting my older brother's baby -- so that he and his wife could go to the peaceful people power edsa revolution that ousted marcos!

for me, what is it to be a filipino?

>88 million people. 7,100 islands.

>ninoy aquino, whose brutal assassination in 1983, shocked an entire nation into action. seared in my mind is the memory of my looking at his bloodied, violently contorted face, unwashed and purposely left by his wife, cory aquino, in the original state that it had become as it had fallen on the airport tarmac. i had lined up for hours and kilometers away, just to see ninoy's body. but i had no idea that they had left it unwashed. i was only a high school student then, and i wasn't involved in any activism, and i don't know what pushed me to go to his wake.

>manny "the pacman" paquiao - the only filipino and only asian boxer to have won 4 different world boxing titles.

>an eternity of 350+ years (1521-1898) as a colony by spain. my grandfather was raised in pure spanish; my father spoke only spanish and english to us; and my batch in college (that was in 1985-89) still had spanish as the required foreign language. no tengo dinero ("i have no money" -- that's the only spanish i can speak today. but that doesn't mean that we are rid of spanish influence in our lives. i can't count the number of spanish-inspired words in our language. there are a LOT -- heck, my own name is spanish! two prominent cities here -- cavite and zamboanga, and their surrounding towns -- speak a dialect that is a form of broken spanish, called chabacano.

>we may be the only country in the world where one-tenth of our entire population works overseas, sending a whopping US$18,000,000,000 (that's billion) every year back home to their families. and that US$14billion in remittances represent only the dollars that are tracked because they are sent thru banks. remittances comprise 12% of the philippines' entire gdp.

my hometown bicol

recall the 4 philippine best nature (nominated) sites? the 11th, mayon volcano, the picture at the top of this blog post, is in my home town, bicol. nowadays nearly all pictures of mayon volcano are taken from an angle that includes a church -- the cagsawa ruins -- where more than 1,000 people got burned alive in hot, flowing lava, as they took refuge in the church during one of mayon's many eruptions.

i am not just a filipino. i am a bicolano filipino!

bicol is located south of manila, and is approximately 6-8 hours by leisurely drive. the bicolanos like their food very, very hot. we put sili (bird's eye chili) in almost all of our dishes. we're so proud of our ability to withstand sili's burning onslaught at your tongue and throat that we even say that we can eat the sili together with our coffee.

i am a very proud bicolano, but sadly i didn't grow up there in bicol. my mother escaped to manila as a young college student, wanting to try the city life. she worked three jobs to get thru her piano music college degree -- in addition, often playing at parties and at school activities till late at night. in one of those parties she met my dad from cavite (chabacano, spanish, remember?). i first set foot in naga when i was already 21 years old.

4 things you must know about bicol.

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1. bicol express - 90% sili, 10% everthing else (coconut milk, shrimp, etc). for first timers eating this, be sure to have ice cold water (not to drink) but to throw into your face or throw on top of your head to cool you down.

2. sinarapan - bicol is home to the world's smallest fish. it's so small that the only thing you'll see is the black color of its eyes. delicious with fried egg and, guess what, sili!!!

3. the virgin of penafrancia - world-famous devotion to the virgin mary (the philippines is overwhelmingly roman catholic, approximately 80%++), held every september of the year.

4. archdiocese of nueva caceres - one of the oldest in the philippines. 400 years old in 1995. bicol is home to a number of the philippines' oldest churches.

and the best thing of all in the whole world about bicol? it's my home.

Old Beijing

Like a rare treasure, hidden inside Liu Ying Jie is Gongwangfu, which has an intriguing little story behind it.

As a young man of 22yrs, Heshen, shown on the left, who began working at the palace as an imperial bodyguard, was quickly noticed by Emperor Qianlong, reputedly because of his attractive appearance, porcelain-like skin and lucious, red lips. Emperor Qianlong's relationship with the bodyguard is said to have been due to the fact that Heshen had an uncanny resemblance to an imperial maid who had hung herself, after having been unjustly accused of improperly caressing the young teenage Qianlong. Believing that Heshen was that maid's second life, Qianlong bestowed on him decades of legendary attention and favor, apparently as his way of atoning for his guilt in the maid's death.

Immediately after Heshen's suicide in 1799 just days after Qianlong's own death, all of his illegally amassed wealth was confiscated by the new Emperor, Jiaqing, Qianlong's son. Heshen's fortunes was reputedly said to have totaled more than what was at the national treasury at that time, an amount roughly equivalent to 15 years of revenue of the Qing government. It is with this ill-gotten wealth that Heshen built his home, the palace shown below, known today as Gongwangfu, or the palace of Prince Gong, widely accepted to be Beijing's last princely palace.

Gongwangfu, covering 61,000 square meters, was built in 1776 and is now being

transformed as the China's first national museum on princely residences

Hutongs and Siheyuans

But much more than the story of Emperor Qianlong and Heshen, old Beijing is really about two words: Hutong and Siheyuan.

A hutong is a small alley or narrow passageway, oftentimes referred to simply as lanes, measuring not more than 9 meters in width. Ironically, while hutongs have come to represent the traditional Beijing, it is actually a Mongolian word which means "water well," hinting to us how long ago these small access ways were first built. Although many of the present-day hutongs in Beijing were created during the Ming and Qing Dynasties (1368-1911), the most ancient ones date as far back as the Yuan Dynasty (1271-1368) when the Mongols ruled most of China.

As the Yuan Dynasty began rebuilding Beijing, much of which was destroyed by the Mongol hordes during the invasion, new houses in groups of 4 were built around water wells. Known as Siheyuan (si=4, he=together, yuan=house), or courtyard houses, this architectural model has now come to represent the old Beijing residential lifestyle. It is the spaces between these siheyuans that form the hutongs. Unlike the hutongs, siheyuans were not started by the Mongols, as this architectural tradition went back much further, being traced to as early as 2,000 years ago. The function, space utilization and much of the internal design of the 4 houses in a siheyuan were consistent with the traditional Chinese concepts of the 5 elements and the 8 diagrams of divination.

The Nan Luo Gu Xiang hutongs are lined with quiet, rustic coffee shops and laid-back, mom-and-pop type of stores selling endless varieties of handicrafts and novelty items.

What I find particularly special about hutongs and siheyuans are the stories that have spawned from the life experiences of the people living in these "museums of beijing's customs," as one author puts it. The Curtain Storehouse hutong, for example, got its name because the old bamboo curtains used by an Empress were kept in the siheyuans of that particular hutong; or the Silver Bowl hutong, which tells of a banished court official who ended up begging in that particular set of hutongs, but, not getting any food, he dropped dead one day and his bowl was thrown far away by the people there.

Indeed, much of Beijing's present-day cosmopolitanism could only have sprung from its glorious and storied days of old.

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Note: All data and information used in this article were based on various internet sources, including wikipedia, private websites, and government portals. All pictures here are borrowed from these same websites. Where relevant, these sites are referenced as direct links throughout the article.

Buckling Down to a Routine

a routine is important because it gives you something to deviate from. when you deviate from it, at least you get the sense that you are moving away from a declared standard, a set benchmark -- and this, in turn, brings on a consciousness, a mindset that makes you evaluate if a decision on how to use one's time is the best one or not. without an explicit routine, one spends time largely unaware of what the full-range of options were and/or what he is giving up to do a current task.

it's been about 4 weeks already since classes started and i've spent that time scanning the environment, if i may call it that. i joined the badminton and cycling clubs, learned about the catholic church's schedules downtown, checked out the free japanese classes offered by the city, discovered the bargain-market days and discount places around town and settled down into my part-time jobs.

i've also decided to move out of ap house (the university dormitory) and share an apartment with two other apu students downtown at the city. this was the major re-adjustment as i had to re-settle in again. i spent the last two weekends at my new room, cleaning and washing the curtains and bedsheets.

so here below is the routine i've set up. i've defined my own objectives for my studies here, as the university really leaves it up to ourselves, as phd-level students, to chart our own journey.

my personal overall target is to finish my phd in 2 years, instead of 3. and i plan to target to get a number of available research grants by january 2010 (which is just 8 months away) so i have to speed up my dissertation proposal and research program.

another major consideration is that 8 out of the 10 posted part-time jobs always require at least medium-proficiency japanese language skill. so i am determined to put myself on a crash course in japanese to build up my speaking ability.

THEREFORE, i have to fix my routine to meet these objectives.

some non-negotiables are:
- first friday masses REQUIRED
- sunday masses REQUIRED
- participation in apostolate work for the missionaries of charity
(feeding of the homeless in beppu) at least 2x a month
- 8 HOURS SLEEP daily
- eljoma writing, minimum 3x weekly, max of 1 hour each time

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ELJOMA ROUTINE, ver 3.0
-----------------------
MONDAY
- get up 05:30, cook for bfast, lunch and dinner
- leave home 06:45. bike to kamegawa for 22 minutes.
- bus leaves at 07:25 for apu.
- read 08:00-16:00 (8 hours)
- japanese review 16:30-17:45
- japanese class 17:55-19:30
- dinner 19:30-20:00
- eljoma writes 20:00-21:00
- go home by bus - 21:10
- bike from kamegawa to home - 21:30 - 21:50
- sleep 22:00

TUESDAY
- get up 05:30, cook for bfast, lunch and dinner
- leave home 06:45. bike to kamegawa for 22 minutes.
- bus leaves at 07:25 for apu.
- teaching assistant job - 08:45 - 12:10
- go downtown to city hall - 12:30-13:30
- free japanese at beppu city hall 13:30-15:00
- bike from city hall to kamegawa 15:00-15:40
- bus to apu - 15:44
- advanced research class (with dr. kee pookong) seminar - 16:30 - 17:30
- teaching assistant job - 17:55 - 19:30
- dinner 19:30-20:00
- eljoma writes 20:00-21:00
- go home by bus - 21:10
- bike from kamegawa to home - 21:30 - 21:50
- sleep 22:00

WEDNESDAY
- get up 05:30, cook for bfast, lunch and dinner
- leave home 06:45. bike to catholic church, 13 minutes.
- leave home 06:45. bike to kamegawa for 22 minutes.
- bus leaves at 07:25 for apu.
- read 08:00-12:00 (4 hours)
- lunch 12:00 - 12:25
- spa meeting 12:25-14:00
- read 14:00-17:00 (3 hours)
- dinner 17:00-17:30
- eljoma writes 18:00-21:30
- go home by bus - 21:40
- bike from kamegawa to home - 22:15 - 22:40
- sleep 23:00

THURSDAY
- get up 05:30, cook for bfast, lunch and dinner
- leave home 06:45. bike to kamegawa for 22 minutes.
- bus leaves at 07:25 for apu.
- read 08:00-12:00 (4 hours)
- lunch 12:05-12:45
- read 12:45-16:30 (4 hours)
- japanese review 16:30-17:45
- japanese class 17:55-19:30
- dinner 19:30-20:00
- eljoma writes 20:00-21:00
- go home by bus - 21:10
- bike from kamegawa to home - 21:30 - 21:50
- sleep 22:00

FRIDAY
- get up 05:30, cook for bfast, lunch and dinner
- leave home 06:45. bike to kamegawa for 22 minutes.
- bus leaves at 07:25 for apu.
- read 08:00-17:00 (11 hours)
- eljoma writes 17:00-18:15
- go home by bus - 18:20
- first friday mass - 19:00-20:00 (1x monthly)
- activity time - 19:00-21:00
- story-writing - 19:00-21:00 (1x-3x monthly)
- bike from kamegawa to home - 21:00 - 21:30
- sleep 22:00

SATURDAY
- get up 05:30, cook for bfast, lunch and dinner
- eljoma writes 07:00-08:00
- apostolate work with the missionaries of charity 09:00 - 13:30
- read at municipal public library 14:00-17:00 (3 hours)
- dinner 17:00-17:30
- eljoma writes 18:00-23:00
- sleep 23:00

SUNDAY
- get up 06:00, cook for bfast, lunch and dinner
- wash clothes 0700 - 11:45
- eljoma writes 0700 - 11:45
- leave for church 11:45-12:00
- choir practice - 12:00-13:30
- mass 13:30 - 14:30
- SLEEP/FREE TIME 14:30-23:00
- sleep 23:00

SUMMARY:
- 37 hours of reading weekly
- 56 hours of sleep weekly
- 8 hours of biking from home to bus stop weekly (so no need to jog everyday)

now a routine is not written in stone and adjusts depending on new assumptions that present themselves. thus this version 1 eljoma routine will be improved as needed.

We Must Remember

Thinking it was spilled water on the train platform at Kasumigaseki Station, Kazumasa Takahashi knelt down and began to wipe the liquid off the floor. The liquid was Sarin and Takahashi died almost instantly, together with 11 other people that day of March 20, 1995, in what has come to be known as the deadliest chemical attack on modern-day Japan -- the Subway Sarin Incident (地下鉄サリン事件) where more than 5,500 innocent commuters were seriously injured. The attack was carried out by a Japanese cult called Aum Shinrikyo, which has since changed its name to Aleph. The cult members who released the deadly chemical on 5 trains have since been sentenced to death or life imprisonment.

Many of us at APU may be able to identify with the Sarin chemical attack since it happened right in this country, but few in this current young generation may know of Agent Orange, one of the deadliest chemicals known to man, which was systematically sprayed by the Americans over Vietnam, between the years 1961-1970, during the Vietnam War. To this day approximately 3 to 4 million Vietnamese suffer unspeakable pain and social stigma from the debilitating effects of Agent Orange, which America has never officially admitted using.

Agent Orange, Sarin and the non-stop threats by present day terrorist of unleashing other weapons of mass destruction upon the rest of humanity are compelling reasons why we at APU were fortunate to have Mr. Goro Nakamura here on campus last April 17-18. As a young photo journalist during the Vietnam war, he witnessed first-hand how Agent Orange wreaked unimaginable horrors upon innocent Vietnamese civilians. Dedicating his life to chronicling the long-term effects of the banned chemical agent, he spent the next 30 years taking thousands of photos showing how its victim’s lives were irreversibly affected – from birth defects to serious skin diseases and even paralyzing psychological damage.

President Monte Cassim of APU, while introducing Mr. Nakamura, emphasized the unbearable horror of wars and highlighted the importance of the work of such dedicated individuals as Mr. Nakamura so that we at the present day may not forget our shameful wars of the past. As Mr. Nakamura spoke about his journey of 30 years, one could clearly sense his burning conviction that through his work the suffering of the millions of victims of Agent Orange may not go to naught if he is able to reach even just a small audience and share the horror of violent conflicts.

Indeed, all that is asked of us is that we remember the past so that we may learn from it and face a better future.

i long for them

i long for them.
[to be continued]

from glorious fun to paralyzing fear: a miraculous saturday in downtown beppu

i was surprised to discover this picture of my calf muscle and foot on my phone. i had just gotten off a train and i remember that i was cold in fear and decided to sit down in order to calm down, catch my breath and regain my composure. i was clasping my treo as a lifeline , a remnant habit from my corporate days as an IT executive, and i must have accidentally hit the camera quick launch button, as if my trembling fingers wanted me to remember that moment.

i was LOST in nakatsu. i was alone, had barely any money on me, didn't have my passport, couldn't speak japanese, had no phone and, most importantly, i didn't have the faintest idea how to get back to kamegawa. it was around 7pm, and i could sense my stomach beginning to churn in hunger. what was really worrying me was if i couldn't get back to kamegawa then i'd have to stay overnight at nakatsu, and i'd ran out of cash. with the cold wind blowing wildly, i was beginning to freeze, as i had on only a rain jacket and was in fact wearing only shorts.

what began as a glorious day of fun with friends came crashing down like bad karma with a vengeance.

miracle#1. that saturday began early for me as i got up at 05:00 to cook. i had joined the apu cycling club and we were to have our first biking trip -- to tanoura beach. we were informed that we would be passing by a convenience store so we could buy lunch, but my "no" policy dictated that i bring packed lunch. i was out of ap house 2 by 07:00.

"knock...knock," and i brought my face closer to the glass door of the oita kotsu bus. the driver bolted to attention. "Ohayoo gozaimasu!," he greeted me as he opened the door.

seeing that i was indeed the first passenger, i sat right behind him and began a conversation. it was the driver's last day as an employee of oita kotsu, and he was excited to go full-time on a buy-and-sell business he had set up two years back in preparation for his inevitable retirement. from the card he gave me i learned that he was the president of their new family venture. they bought used items (bicycles, motorcycles, all kinds of equipment) and exported them in bulk to second-hand shops all over asia.

i couldn't believe the providence of that moment. it felt just like that scene in the movie "the curious case of benjamin button" where cate blanchett got run over by a car as she was leaving the back exit of a theater -- and benjamin button was narrating how a multiplicity of events, timed accurately to the last second, brought everything to that exact moment.

you see, even when i was still in manila we had already been planning to set-up a buy-and-sell business of second-hand japan items, particularly bicycles, among others. so i was just finding the right time to scope out the second-hand item exporting industry in beppu. and now here is this sleepy driver, of this first bus trip of a saturday morning, for my trip downtown for a circle activity that i could've so easily not been a part of had i not joined that circle, and i could've so easily been on the next bus had i gotten up a little late or if the food i cooked had been a little more elaborate than fried fish. but there we were - him and i - exchanging contact information and setting up my visit to his business office so i could see his second hand bicycles. i felt that it was going to be a good day indeed.

miracle#2. i got off at kitashinden, as i had the 7-for-1,000yen weekend tickets, and walked to mochigahama where i joined up with the main group of cyclists. since the new circle members - 4 of us - had not yet purchased our individual bikes, we were given temporary bikes belonging to previous circle members who had graduated already. then we realized that there were 11 of us but only 10 bikes!

in a gallant gesture of her leadership, the cycling circle head, haruna-san, sacrificed her own bike for one of the newcomers to use, explaining that she would just walk to tanoura beach. not to be outdone, sidd-san, an mba student from india, offered not to join the group anymore and just go back to apu. after much insistence and argument from both proponents that their respective proposals were the best, a compromise was reached that sidd-san would use one of the mamachari bikes (a regular bike with a basket in front and a sitting platform behind the bike seat) and that haruna-san would sit behind him. their selflessness so inspired all of us, and that must've set the tone for the great day that it was to become.

Thanks to Raynon for the two pictures above.

a future miracle x will be happening this summer when we plan to bike to kansai, spending about 1 week on the road going there, and another week coming back to beppu but by a different route. this trip will be a dream-come-true for me as i've always wanted to go cross-country by bike.

miracle#3. wanting to hit 10 birds with 1 stone, i scheduled a side-trip downtown to visit another filipino whose apartment i heard had a vacant room. ap house is a great place to stay but i wanted to experience the life at beppu city, to feel the pulse of the local people, the local customs. we had agreed to meet at 19:00 at the mcdonalds at mochigama, but i arrived there at 16:00, way too early to hang around and wait for him.

to while away the extra time i decided to walk around the neighborhood to see what was interesting. just two blocks away i found the off shop which sold mainly second-hand items at very good prices, and just in front of that, the beppu port area. i sat in the waiting area just observing the people coming and going and i tried to read the hiragana i could find in the many signages around.

soon enough i grew restless, and i decided that instead of bumming around for the next 2 more hours, i would try and look for my filipino friend's apartment on my own. i had the exact address but next to that i knew nothing about the street names (which i found out later on didn't exist, except for the big streets). and the district names all sounded martian to me: "shigaki-higashi" seemed to be a tongue twister straight out of tom cruise's movie, "the last samurai." notice that those two words have identical letters except one. "2-9-21" reminded me of the number format we filipinos use to bet in our lotto (lottery gambling). "i would surely get lost," i remember saying to myself, but my adventurer spirit quickly countered by saying: "and what could be more exciting than that?"

but no, there was an invisible hand guiding me. when i exited the port building i found that my eyes were stubbornly transfixed on this street sign right outside of the door. it was a street map! i found the shigaki-higashi area but there were no street names and there were no numbers written. buoyed by the presence of my invisible guide, i decided to take my chances and forge ahead. the time was 17:17. i knew the exact time because at this point i was already jotting down notes in my treo of the places, events and happenings so that i could, in the future, narrate the miracle, or disaster, of trying to find an address in a japanese city.

when i reached the area which, according to my hand-drawn replica of the street map, was shigaki-higashi, i looked around frantically for someone to ask. armed only with "sumimasen" and "doko" and a facial expression that read "please kindly help this hopelessly lost foreigner", i criss-crossed the area for about 30 minutes based on the conflicting directions i got from mostly old people walking their dogs. i started to jog instead of just walking in order to cover the area more efficiently.

by around 17:45 i had triangulated the apartment's location to just 3 buildings. i was looking for "showa building" but i couldn't read the building names written in kanji. looking around and finding no one to ask, i began knocking on apartment buildings. after about 6 apartments, someone finally was home (or wasn't scared of me) and opened up. and to my extreme surprise it was an apu student who i knew! what a cosmic coincidence, i thought. she quickly pointed to the third building whose 2-character kanji read "sho wa."

what a surprise my filipino friend had, as he opened his door to my rampaging knock. success!

but the miracle wasn't in my finding his place though that, by itself, was extremely providential. the real miracle was that his extra room was vacant for almost a year, despite his active search for a roommate, as if i was destined to be in that apartment. that was the first time both of us met, yet we immediately found common interests and our discussion was quite lively. we were done in 15 minutes, and i had made up my mind to transfer. beppu downtown here i come! the time was 18:01.

lost in nakatsu. now how did i get lost in nakatsu if i was in mochigama? the speed by which things happened after i left my friend's apartment render me utterly baffled. there must have been a reason why i was actively guided to nakatsu and i will be intently on the lookout for the meaning and significance of that scary detour i had.

having the 7-for-1,000yen apu-kitashinden weekend tickets, i would have had to walk from mochigama to kitashinden in order to be able to catch the apu bus, and use my tickets. now at that point i was already exhausted and the wealth of experiences of that day, thus far, had really drained my psychologically. since that walk would have been about 1 hour (i think, approximately 8-10kms), and i had to be in apu by 7pm to catch the 2nd Nakamura Goro talk (though i had already attended the first talk which was held friday), my friend suggested that i take the local train from beppu eki to kamegawa. that train ride would only cost 200yen, and i could walk from kamegawa to kitashinden, the distance of which would now be more manageable. the bus direct from mochigama to apu cost 490yen and we weighed the option of just buying an oita kotsu triple ticket (333yen per ticket) at beppu eki.

again the adventurer in me kicked in. i decided to take the local train because i had not yet experienced it. also i didn't want to spend another 1,000yen for 3 tickets and i would only use 1 of them -- then being compelled to use the other 2 tickets in the future. i wanted to use up all my kitashinden-apu tickets, even if taking the train (200yen) and the kitshinden-apu bus (143yen) totalled higher than 333yen (the cost of 1 of the 3 triple tickets).

that decided, we walked briskly from mochigahama to beppu eki, passing the back streets. we reached beppu eki at 6:10pm. i was taught how to use the ticket dispenser, and just as i said goodbye to my friend, he quickly warned me to take the local train and not the express train. but by that time my single focus was on not missing my train, and so i didn't pay full attention to his warning about not taking the express train. just seconds after i stepped onto the train platform, a train arrived, and, not thinking, i quickly hopped into it. once i got inside i then suddenly remembered my friend's warning. so i ran back out of the train, and tried to ask the people coming into that same train if that was the local train to kamegawa. people answered back, but i didn't understand what they said.

the seconds were ticking and the train door would close any moment. i had to make a decision: get on it, or wait for the next train. my gut feeling said get on it, so i did. it was the EXPRESS train. great.

but i didn't know just yet that that train i was on was the express train. i got a seat and tried to calm down, still worrying if i was on the right train. i looked at my ticket, which said the train that i was supposed to be on was the 18:16 train (see ticket on the right). it was already 18:24 when i looked at the ticket so that still didn't tell me if i was on the right train.

what really got me worried was when the train was really going at a high speed and we seemed to have passed a number of stations but didn't stop! i looked at the station guide and saw that kamegawa was only two stops away from beppu eki where i got on.

at that point i was really worried. what if that train was non-stop to tokyo? could i ask it to stop? could i jump off? now my thoughts were really getting desperate. what if i get arrested because i didn't have my passport, and i didn't have my alien registration card yet? realizing that there was nothing i could do at that point, i sank down into my seat again and just tried to capture the moment, taking it all in. i wanted to cry, but i think i was too scared for the tears to have flowed out.

i realized that i was hugging my knapsack very tightly because i suddenly felt something hard in my bag. it was the apple that i brought along for our cycling trip! that made me smile. it was the invisible hand again, this time offering me something to eat, as if to say "relax, don't worry and enjoy the ride."

it was the best-tasting apple i'd eaten thus far. with each bite, i remember wanting to chew away my problem and just magically re-appear in the kamegawa station, the correct station. its rich juice had the effect of sweetening the otherwise completely sour situation i was in. that apple was a big one (which i bought at 5 pieces for 350yen), and so finishing it actually helped me to calm down. i was lost, and so what do you do when you are lost: you get found, you get back.

getting back to kamegawa. first, i had to find out where the train was going, or more importantly, what was the next station it was stopping in and could i get back to kamegawa from there. easy, if only i could say that in japanese. i got up from my seat and walked around the train coaches, trying to find someone who looked like he could speak english. by the third coach, and not finding anyone, i finally decided to ask the push-cart lady (the one selling snacks and drinks on the train). her english was surprisingly good, and i later found out that this was because she was a college student and that being a push-cart lady was her part-time job.
she took out this small book, like a miniature dictionary with very, very small letters. it was a train schedule, i realized, and in just a few seconds she scribbled down on a piece of paper (see above) where the train was going (nakatsu), what time it would arrive there(19:00), and what time the next train back to kamegawa would be (19:48). she even put the time that return train would arrive at kamegawa (20:31). i thanked her profusely, but her perfunctory smile told me that this wasn't the first time she helped some naive foreigner lost on a japan train. she quickly dashed off to continue her job.

things were now looking up. i went back to my seat and tried to enjoy the scenery. rural japan - how beautiful indeed it was. i got too comfortable in my soft seat.

the jolt from the stopping train woke me up. I HAD FALLEN ALEEP!

did i miss a stop? was this nakatsu? should i get off? if it wasn't nakatsu and i got off, there might not be a return train to kamegawa. again, the seconds were ticking, and the train doors would close any second. my gut feel was to get off. so i did. and this brings us to the start of my story.

after regaining my composure, i walked around the station trying to find a sign saying that it was indeed the nakatsu station. i thank god that it was nakatsu, and thanks be to god again that i could at least read hiragana. then i noticed that there were more than 2 train tracks! in my beloved third-world home country, we only have 2 tracks maximum. this one had at least 4 tracks. where the heck would the train back to kamegawa pass, at which track?

i went down to the ticket office, and found out that i should be in track 2. as i was going back up, a voice in my head whispered "confirm if the train time given by the push-cart lady is correct." it was the invisible hand again. i was getting used to his voice, to his way of talking to me. asking the ticket office again, i then found out that the 19:48 return train to kamegawa was correct but that it was an express train which meant that i had to pay an additional 948yen, and that i would be charged on the train. the train i was supposed to get onto if i didn't like to pay additional fare was the 20:20 local train, which was to arrive at kamegawa at 21:41. i debated with myself if my "no" policy applied in these types of "emergency" or "lost" situations, and the miser in me said yes it still applied.

i didn't know what time the last bus from kamegawa to apu was, which would've helped me decide if arriving at 21:41 was acceptable. but then since i couldn't stomach paying 948yen for not having the presence of mind to get on the right train from beppu, i decided to wait for the 20:20 train.

thinking that my problems were over, and knowing that that ride would take more than 1 hour, i sort of relaxed and sat back during the ride back to kamegawa. i couldn't enjoy any scenery as it was already night. and, yes, i was careful not to let myself fall asleep lest i find myself back in the beppu eki.

then i realized that i didn't know how many stations away kamegawa station was starting from nakatsu station - so at least i could know where i would get off. looking for some kind face to approach, i chose this young man wearing a cap, and i asked how many stations we would pass before kamegawa. looking at the train station guide, the man then showed me that kamegawa was 16 stations away! for the first time i realized how far i had overshot my original target station.

so for the next 16 stations that man and i talked. i learned that he was a soldier working in beppu but lived in nakatsu. i told him i was a student at apu. we showed each other our respective id cards. we talked about our families, and shared our dreams of the future. we exchanged email addresses and he even gave me a gift of biscuits! and if you're wondering what language we used when we talked, he used pure japanese and i used pure english. it was miracle #4 how we were able to understand each other. my portable japanese-english/english-japanese dictionary in my treo was also very helpful.

that man must have been the embodiment of the invisible hand because as i talked to him the day seemed to have rounded itself out as one fine day indeed. i was in a local train in japan, in the dead of the night, freezing in my shorts, but fully warmed up in the japanese-english lessons this man and i were having, in the common humanity we were sharing. perfect.

i arrived back at apu at around 22:30, just in time for my kitchen duty. from glorious fun to paralyzing fear, we can always count on some greater force to make sure we'll always come home safely.

an ascetic phd life

it's friday again, which means the vegetable and fruit vendors are coming today here at ap house. it gives a refreshing, recharging feeling that i'll be getting a fresh supply of healthy food. last week was my first time to catch the enterprising vendors, and here's what i bought.
i put my watch and a small stapler beside the items so as to provide some perspective on size. you'll see the price of each item as you hover your mouse over the picture or if you look at the website address above your browser as you click each picture.

i spent 2,420yen and what i bought was just right for one week's food. this means that if i go on a pure vegetable diet, my monthly food budget will total only approximately 10,000yen.

some items to note though:
- the leafy vegetables have to be eaten ahead because they quickly wilt. eggplant, squash can be eaten last, as they have a longer refrigerator life. they'll stay good until about maximum of 3 days, then you'll have to cook all that's left and store them as cooked items.
- the tofu has only about 4 days before it expires so it should be eaten together with the leafy vegetables, or cook it and store it as cooked food.

a number of factors - biological, financial, and spiritual - are converging for me here at my stay in apu - and its all working for my good.

the overall results of my health check up says i am a "b," that is, "care should be taken with daily life style." this confirmed for the nth time what my stomach circumference visually reminds me everyday: i have to watch it on fatty foods, and too much carbohydrates. nevertheless i am very grateful that i am still generally of good health. indeed, as they say, life begins at 40.

financially, i am hard-pressed to bring down my living expenses to the bare minimum. i have adopted an effective rule that i have been able to apply for the last 3 weeks since i arrived here in apu. that is the "no until proven yes" policy. for everything i need, the answer is no until i can prove to myself beyond reasonable doubt that i'd die unless i get those items. am hungry and i want biscuits - no, boil some mushrooms and nibble on those. thirsty and want to buy a softdrink - no, drink water. coffee - no, water. tea - no, but you can drink at the cafeteria for free (oooops). meat - no, vegetables.

applying such a rigorous policy strains my ability to discipline myself - thus necessitating my tapping onto another source of will power to drive my compliance to both my financial constraints and to my dietary restrictions. this third force is my spirituality - and my model in this is st. francis of assisi and how he embraced poverty and simplicity.

with a pure vegetarian diet consistent with my financial challenges and inspired by st. francis of assisi i hope to realize even just 1% of an ascetic phd life.

fun and need: different avenues, same goal -- happiness

what is fun? does fun have a purpose, or is it an end in itself?
do we need fun to survive or is it a luxury one can do without?

when we have fun, we become happy. the objective then of wanting fun, is wanting happiness. we achieve happiness through fun. but is happiness gained only through fun? need then comes into the picture.

what is a need? if we need to do something, we do it even if it may not be fun. it would be good if what we need to do and what is fun to do are the same. but if it's not, would you stop doing what you need to do only because it isn't fun?

doing something you need to do fulfills a need. when needs are fulfilled, we are satisfied. with satisfaction, comes contentment. and with that, comes happiness.
so doing what needs to be done, makes us happy, in the end.

i am in apu for a purpose, that is, to re-tool, re-focus and to network - and in the process get my phd. writing, researching, investigating and answering questions are, for me, fun things to do. these fun activities are also something i must do ("must" being a stronger word for "need") because i have to support my family economically. i am lucky because fun and need are, for me here in apu, one and the same.

intensity

i may not have understood much of what the sensei was saying - as he was talking in japanese - but unmistakable was his intensity.

the way he looked straight into the eyes of each student, the way his arms and shoulders strained to animate the words that he spoke, the eloquence by which he would jot down kanji on the board and so adeptly place the equivalent english words on selected parts of the japanese sentence so as to highlight what needed to be emphasized, and most of all his profuse perspiration -- all these clearly showed his burning passion for his vocation. the students could clearly sense this, as they listened attentively to his ideas, staying awake and interested.

it is 6:55pm, and this is my first assignment as a teaching assistant(ta). i am one of two tas assigned to this class. while tas help out in class administrative matters such as checking of attendance, reproduction of reading materials, checking of submitted papers and overall liaison with the students, what i find quite compelling is that a ta gets a free lecture, further adding to one's perspectives, and has a chance to observe the inner-workings of how a class is run in a typical japanese university . we are lucky because this sensei we were assigned makes it a point to involve the ta in the discussions, and thus we have the responsibility to follow the assigned readings, and he even assigned each of us a topic to talk on for the next session. and the best part is -- we get paid to learn, instead of paying to learn.

there is one teacher and 240 students. with a class this size, technology has to compensate. there are 5 large overhead screens, complete audio-visual equipment, whiteboards and blackboards. the courageous few that risk life and limb by sitting in front, within easy reach of the teachers's eyes, get called often to answer questions. but wireless microphones that are carried by us TAs to every corner of the room ensure that each student can be the next victim.

there are three video cameras. two placed at the front corners with diagonally intersecting views of the large classroom, and the other one directly facing the teacher and the blackboard. i want to find out if students are able to access these video recordings on demand as a way of reviewing what was discussed in class.

The sensei introduced us, asking us to share with the class something about our countries. my fellow ta, from nepal, shared that it is in his country that the highest mountain peak can be found -- mt. everest. i, for my part, shared that it is only the philippines that has a citizen in every country in the world. both of us tas talked in english, and the sensei translated what we said into japanese. indeed, my learning japanese is crucial to my life here at apu.

Wa Choi - The Perfect Beppu Break-In

Arriving in Beppu, Japan just 7 days earlier to study at the Ritsumeikan Asia Pacific University (APU), I was already sorely itching to explore the downtown area to see for myself why this beautiful city, far south of Tokyo, is called the Hot Spring Capital of the World. So I signed-up to join a group of APU students who would help carry and parade the hot spring god across the city for the annual Beppu Hatto Onsen Festival.

"Wa Choi!", a heavy, coarse scream ripped through the cold, early morning air. Unsatisfied with the faint whimper of a response from us first-timers, most of whom were still half-asleep, the group leader intensified his voice to an angry growl: "WAAA CHOOOOIII #@*#%@!!." I shouted back what my Japanese-untrained ear thought he said -- "RRAAA SSHHHAIII!!!" -- as strong and as hard as I could. The man to my left tapped me on the shoulder saying, "It's 'wa choi' not 'ra shai'." Embarrassed, I said: "Right, 'wa choi'," pretending it wasn't me who made that crisp deviation from the synchronized "wa choi" howls of everyone else. He was Tara-san, a Beppu local guy selling refrigerators and dishwashers, new friend #1 for that day.

The portable shrine lunged forward, and a most unforgettable day was about to begin. It was 7:30am.

Our all-white get-up represented the purity of the hot spring god. I had serious second thoughts about the activity when I saw the others stripping down to their underwear as they put on the white garments, worrying about how I would survive the cold. "No way, man! Not after we came down all this way from APU," exclaimed Sidd, an MBA student from India, new friend #2, as I told him that I was backing out. Persevering further, I began to painfully peel off my multiple layers of warm clothing -- first a jacket, then 2 jeans, 4 shirts, 2 socks and my knitted head gear.

Just as I feared, the cold wind, accentuated by the slight drizzle, immediately ripped through my tender, tropical-weather skin. Panic enveloped me as I saw that there were in fact six separate garments and I didn't know how to put them on. Probably seeing me already shivering, Tenkai, new friend #3, a member of the Beppu Town Planning Promotion Committee, one of the participating organizations assisting in the festival, quickly offered to help. Between the girdle wrapped around my fat stomach, the ninja-like white shoes with strange buttons, and the specially-folded top garment, Tenkai patiently explained in courageous English the significance and history of the festival, the route we were to take, and other groups who would also be participating.

"Wa Choi!", our roaring continued to echo through the narrow, Beppu side-streets lined with various small businesses. My mind was deciding which was the greater pain -- was it the scraping of the wood against my shoulder bone, or was it the piercing cold? A business owner stepped out of her stall and our group leader signaled us to stop. We lowered the portable shrine onto two wooden benches that were carefully positioned directly under it. This allowed me to see for the first time that our parade was spearheaded by two people mimicking a walking, dancing dragon, and they lowered the dragon's colorful head mask so as to kiss every person we passed. By this time, the whole family of the business owner was standing in front of their stall, and the two dragons swooped down on them, kissing each member. Our group leader shouted the business name, and we executed a structured clap, giving a healthy bow of gratitude for the owner's kind donation.

Before lifting the shrine again, small white paper cups started going around, containing what looked like water. For a split second my mind wondered why the cups were so small if they knew that everyone by this time was hugely thirsty. I gulped down the liquid, and instantly I realized that it definitely wasn't water! "It's sake, Japanese rice wine. It will help you fight the cold and forget the pain.", said Mako, new friend #4, a 50-something-year-old Toshiba engineer, as if he had read the worries on my mind. I quickly downed two more shots. I was now ready to shout a thousand more "wa shois." It also helped a lot that small towels were distributed to put on our shoulders, protecting it from the punishing weight of the shrine. I must say I thought the ladies in our group who were also carrying another shrine behind us were just pure Amazon material.

The pattern started to get predictable -- lift, walk, wa shoi, rest, sake. It was getting easy. As we passed through downtown Beppu, my new-found friends pointed out the various landmarks and discount places. We shook hands with the honorable Beppu Mayor, Mr. Hiroshi Hamada, but weren't so lucky with Ms. Beppu City 2009. I counted about 10 different kinds of portable shrines containing different gods, and whose lifters were wearing different colors. The goddess of one of the oldest shrines in Japan, found at Usa City, near Fukuoka, was also just behind us. There were various dance presentations, socio-civic groups and even the local African Safari cage-like, steel-fortified vehicle. It helped immensely that our group had a good mix of both international and Japanese APU students and Beppu locals. We asked the questions, the locals gladly provided the answers -- and we became intimately aware of the lesser-known facts about Beppu City.

By noon most were already exhausted, and those who could grabbed a quick nap wherever they could, even if directly under the sun. The sake undoubtedly had no small role in warming us up, not only against the cold, but, more importantly, to each other. Rest periods became bonding sessions, as we got to know about each others' families, kids and dogs. By the time we returned the portable shrine to its home at the Shinto temple at around 5pm we had essentially shared our entire personal history from birth up to that morning of April 5 with each other. Interestingly, though the number of sake shots I took nearly approximated the number of wa chois i chanted I didn't feel a bit intoxicated at all. I suspect that it was sake fuel that powered our nearly 8-hour adventure, the wine going more to my muscles than to my head. There was also tea, juice and water but my friends who were handing me my sake shots successfully hid the other beverages from me. Indeed, they were truly concerned about my shoulder pain and the cold. Absolutely.

The group leaders were very efficient and really planned the whole thing very well. Those of us who started at the back of the shrine were shuffled to the front and side, giving me different perspectives to the view of Beppu City, and allowing one shoulder to rest while the other rested shoulder carried the load. They also asked us unceasingly how we were holding up, and that we could raise our hands to signal that we needed to rest and you would be quickly replaced by a stand-by lifter. Traffic marshalls with red hand signals made sure we weren't run over by cars. A hearty lunch was served, and seconds were allowed. Most of us went back three times or more, after the first serving. Our stomachs and muscles lay back in satisfaction.

At the dinner celebration for all the lifters sponsored by the City and graced by no less than Mayor Hamada himself, we were treated to a sumptuous banquet -- from all kinds of seafood to meat dishes and soothing hot soup, and all kinds of candies, even ice cream. The leaders from the various groups visited each table and filled up our glasses with sake, beer, juice and tea. Just like my new friend #2, Mako-san, the hotel staff seemed to be all certified mind readers as they quickly guessed what I needed even before I could ask for it. I was brought around the various tables and introduced to different groups, allowing me to get to know the more personal side to those many nameless faces I had bumped into during the day. I approached Marima, an APU student, and another tireless festival organizer and also a member of the Beppu Town Planning Promotion Committee, who I had been seeing working so hard and operating at the background supporting the main lifters, and congratulated her for a job very well done.

My buddies, now coining ourselves as the Wa Shoi Brotherhood, and I then took off to go hot spring hopping around the city as most of them had free admission on that day. Beginning at the basement of that same hotel, Ryo, Atsushi, Akira, Xicheng, Yuta, Sidd and myself -- all APU students ranging from 1st year undergraduate to graduate school -- got stark naked, took the mandatory pre-dip bath, and jumped in. There were different pools of varying sizes and water temperatures. It was my first time to go to a hot spring, and to get naked in front of a group. And while my brothers all had towels ready, as they must've been expecting to go bathing that evening, I didn't have one so I was in my birth clothes the whole time. We would have gone to 2 or 3 more onsens but the last bus ride back to APU was beckoning as it was nearly 10pm.

Note: Special thanks to Yogie Permana tirelessly taking
all the pictures used in this article.

My shoulders have now recovered, but the memories of that day will stay with me forever. The small and temporary physical investment will be paid back many times over by emotional and psychological rewards coming from my Wa Choi Brothers who I bump into everyday here at APU, my Beppu local friends who have invited me to have dinner with their families and, lastly, from the endearment to the City that will be my home for the next 3 years. Wa Shoi is truly the perfect Beppu break-in. Join us next year!

66% cheaper rice

wednesday, april 1, 2009.

my hands are shaking and my skin freezing, but i can still type.

was in the computer room typing when i saw someone carrying a bag of rice and i suddenly remembered that today is wednesday, the day when an old man in a van parks in front of the dorm and sells cheap rice. i was freezing because i ran out to the van to get my supply because they say he rans out in just 1 hour after he arrives. and the wind was howling through the windows and it was slightly raining. and i wasn't wearing my jacket.

last sunday i bought a 2kl pack of rice for 750yen. that's about 187pesos per kilo of rice (compared to our most expensive rice at home being only at the highest, 40pesos). now i have here securely beside me a 10-kilo bag of rice for only 1200yen, or about 60pesos per kilo of rice.

great, saved 66% of my rice cost.

in-place

tuesday, march 31, 2009.

the question seems to be whether one's chosen community of friends should be primarily vertical - that is, a wide range of age groups - or primarily horizontal - that is, essentially the same age group but wide range of interests. i think one's community must be primarily horizontal and secondarily vertical -- horizontal for the stability, consistency and sense of emotional security that one gets from socially like-minded people but without sacrificing the diversity of perspectives since interests still vary; and vertical, for the jolting, the kicking-in-the-butt, the wake-up call warning us about being too serious about life, for not having the fun that is essential to happiness, and for the sometimes excessive guardedness of thoughts and actions (the loss of spontaneity and of being simply who you are), and the simple zest for life that we need to get from young people.

the welcome party i attended on my first night here at the college wing had about 20 first year college students with an average age of 18-20yrs. i was the only graduate student(meaning really old), and i was twice their average age. the party was so lively, really fun and we laughed our hearts out during the many creative group activities that the versatile RAs had up their sleeves. i can't even remember the last time i ever had that much uninhibited fun! it was really... FUN!

last night had an impromptu dinner with 2 residents of this wing. we just happened to go to the kitchen at the same time to prepare our dinner. i had just met up with a filipino friend and he lent me some cooking paraphernalia (pots, pans, utensils, etc) and so i was in the kitchen to cook rice. it was a quite meal and our discussions were on topics related to our programs, the academic processes here, about living downtown as compared to living in the apu dorm.

on my first day i felt out-of-place. today i feel so totally in-place. great!

sunrise is always after sunset

monday, march 30, 2009.

the nice thing about being down and out, about being at rock bottom, is that there is no way to go but up, meaning things can not get any worse, they can only get better. so it is that sunrise follows sunset; resurrection after crucifixion. last night i was so broken, so desolate that i found myself crying myself to sleep. the raw, painful reality that i am in fact separated from my wife and kids descended on me like a dark cloud, enveloping me completely, permanently. it was the first time that i spontaneously cried, that is, without even sensing that tears were about to burst out.

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began this post last night but after i took a hot bath i quickly fell asleep the moment my back hit my warm bed.
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out of sheer coincidence i happened to take the bus with about 5 young college students. so probably mistaking me for a 20-something college guy, the lady at the dormitory reception put me by mistake in the wing full of college students. this must have been the first source of my terrible uneasiness as i really felt out of place with such a young crowd. then the room i was put in didn't have its own bath (as was indicated in the PhD brochure). but everything was quickly sorted out and so they transferred me to the PhD wing.

aside from having its own bath (and bath tub), what i truly love about my room is its breathtaking view of beppu city, oita city and the bay! and this is like 24-hours available to my eyes!

so now it is sunrise, as i am happy again. last night was an extremely dark sunset. it's hard to remind oneself while you are in the midst of the dark sunset that sunrise will inevitably come.

arrived in japan

sunday, march 29, 2009.

arrived safely here at apu at 5pm (japan time), 4pm philippine time. what a trip. it was so hassle-free at the fukuoka airport, and the japanese personnel were very friendly and efficient. i noticed though that they didn't get my baggage claim stubs from my ticket so i was wondering how they make sure that the baggage you brought out was indeed only yours, trust basis? i went out to the main lobby of the airport, just as described in the manuals sent by the jake of the apu admissions office, and located the bus ticket dispenser. i took out the piece of paper i had prepared back in manila which contained the phrase to read in order to ask how to get a ticket to beppu-wan station. i was surprised though because as i approached the counter, the lady there said "good afternoon, are you going to apu?", as if they were expecting a lot of apu students that day. and she spoke in english so i tucked away my piece of paper, and smiled to her in relief, answering: "yes, 1 ticket to apu please."

the bus ride was uneventful though i worried that i'd miss my stop. i noticed however that there were quite a number of non-japanese nationalities together with me on that bus and so they could also be apu students so either we all missed the correct bus stop together or we'd all get off on the right one together.

"apu students?!", a young lady who had climbed onto the bus shouted. her loud voice woke me up from my sleep, but i was glad she did because i would've slept right through that stop, realizing now that i was so exhausted from the previous days, trying to spend as much time as i could with my family before my departure for japan. the lady's name was omu, and she was a resident assistant at the university dormitory where i was to stay.

very exciting. am still a bit overwhelmed that i am already here at apu. dorm life is so public. back when i was college (24 years ago) i would crash into the dorm rooms of my classmates to grab an afternoon nap, but i never really experience how it was to live in one. and now here i was in this dormitory with japanese and other international students from 80 countries worldwide. wow.

i just came back from the cafeteria to buy rice. it was so expensive. 130yen for 1 cup of rice. that's 65pesos. tomorrow i'll make sure to ride the bus and go downtown and buy 10 kilos of rice so i can cook by myself. but i just remembered i don't have any spoon and fork so i'll have to eat wiht my hands tonight. thanks for the home cooked food you tucked into my bag, darling.

there's a welcome party here at 7:30pm later. i feel like i am thrust into this young life again. i will have to ADJUST.

about this blog

more than two decades ago (in 1987) i was heart-broken when i didn't get into a student exchange program in japan. funny but the painful memories of that rejection were the first to enter my mind as i received the notice of acceptance from a school in japan. seared deep in my heart, that experience may have been -- subconsciously -- the single, rallying point of all the twists and turns taken by my career after college that ultimately led to this culmination, that is, my doing my doctorate in asia pacific studies at the ritsumeikan asia pacific university in beppu city, oita prefecture, japan.

at last i'll be able to live out one of my most cherished childhood dreams -- that of living and studying in japan. what inspired that dream i cannot concretely pin down.

it couldn't have been my japanese college scholarship because i had that dream of mine as early as my elementary years.

it could have been the stories my father had told me about the japanese during the war. my father was born in 1918 so he was around 22 when the war broke out here but since he was in the seminary he wasn't sent to the frontlines. his parents though and 12 other brothers and sisters experienced the japanese first hand, and i guess his own stories of the japanese came from them. my mother, a young girl of 12, told me many stories of how the japanese occupied their house and how they would cook for them.

it can't also be the fact that my best friend of 20 years is japanese because i met him in college when he himself was an exchange student.

nor can it be from my eldest son's name being "miko" - a common japanese name; and my youngest son having 2 japanese godparents; or that i only invited 2 guests during my college graduation party, mako and anne, japanese exchange students at that time.

maybe in one rare instance of cosmic reversal the inspiration to a dream happens after the dream is born.

this blog will chronicle my journey through apu. i am quite excited by the fact that i'll gaining so many new friends, hearing their stories about their lives, their challenges in school, their daily concerns. and the apu faculty i can't wait to interact with. if i could rub off just 1% of their collective wisdom, i would be quite satisfied already.

apu will be my family in japan, as i will be -- for the first time in my life -- physically separated from my lovely wife and 3 wonderful boys. i know, like a filipino family, apu will receive me with wide open arms.